


Out Of My Grasp

by Mandelazoid



Category: Mr. Robot (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Character Study, During Canon, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Tyrell has a lot of feelings, Wrote this right after watching season 4 ep 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 21:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandelazoid/pseuds/Mandelazoid
Summary: Takes place during the argument in Season 4 episode 4 between Tyrell and Elliot and is just expanding upon Tyrell's inner feelings on it (or my inner feelings for Tyrell lmao)
Relationships: Elliot Alderson/Tyrell Wellick, Mr. Robot/Tyrell Wellick
Kudos: 27





	Out Of My Grasp

**Author's Note:**

> "You honestly don't care about me. Do you?"
> 
> The answer was obvious now, maybe it always was. Tyrell was blinded by the pulsing of his heart anytime he even thought of him. This was always one sided wasn't it?

"You honestly don't care about me. Do you?"

The answer was obvious now, maybe it always was. Tyrell was blinded by the pulsing of his heart anytime he even thought of him. This was always one sided wasn't it? 

"What are you talking about now?" Annoyance was laced in the already venomous tone that regarded him. He couldn't stand it so before the sentence fully left Elliot's mouth his own words pierced the air.

"Like why you wear that same hoodie everyday. You don't care." A sound resounded at the back of his throat and the breath that escaped his lips clouded the freezing air. "Did you ever care about me? I mean be honest I can take it." More lies to add to the long list of bullshit things he's told before.

A pause

"What is the point of this?"

"Just answer the question. Did you?" 

What's taking him so long? Tyrell already knows the answer and he knows he doesn't want it spoken out loud but for some reason living in the disbelief of being loved back sounds like a worse option right now. The longer Elliot takes the more Tyrell feels his hurt burn in his chest feeling familiar to seething anger. 

"...Tyrell you didn't make it easy--"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"NO."

It's as if someone had walked over to him and shoved their hand through his chest and the worst part is he's already acquainted with this feeling shredding at every last bit of him. His wife, his child, his dream to become God with Elliot, and now Elliot himself. He's been stripped to the goddamn bone and he'd figured it'd be easier to take it after all of this shit but it isn't. The last thing he was holding onto, the last thing he had left, well it wasn't his.

Despite the deep silence that fell over them another strange sound rang out from the Forrest. He'd almost forgotten about them to be honest. Being eaten alive doesn't actually sound to bad about now.

"Sound of death."

"It's just some stupid animal. Let's go." It's funny really, he could tell Elliot was rolling his eyes even without looking at him. The agitation had seeped into his voice more than before.

With a brief head shake he responded, eyes glued onto the ground. "Go without me."

"What? You're giving up?" Elliot's eyes followed the man sitting on the bar railing of the road in confusion.

"Yeah. I think so."

Elliot seemed to shut down for a moment before he sat down beside him. God this personality shit was getting really confusing. He'd only learned about it recently but had been around for him to switch in between at times. Jesus why'd he have to be in love with this crazy asshole. 

"Come on, if you stay out here alone you're gonna be sure it's game over. You're better than this." THIS was the side Tyrell wanted. The side that stuck a gun to his head but pulled away before shooting a second bullet, the side that spoke to Tyrell with a almost formal fondness, the side that wasn't the Elliot who just said no.

" Yeah. Maybe I was. Not anymore." The lump in his throat grew larger as he tried to swallow it back.

Elliot got up from where he sat down and was now pacing in the road. Great. Fucking great.

"I'm going."

"Yeah go Elliot."

"I will." 

"Yeah? Good. 'Cuz you don't need me, you never needed me. That's the truth right?" Tears were fighting to glide down Tyrell's face and he didn't know how much longer they'd take to fall.

"Yeah that's the truth! I NEVER FUCKING NEEDED YOU! YOU WERE ONLY IN THE WAY!" 

If he thought the words Elliot spoke before hurt him then Tyrell didn't know how describe what he felt right now. Broken? Maybe not just from this. If this had happened earlier then maybe he would've been okay, he could've had his wife to hold and his new baby boy to spoil rotten but those two things were now an untouchable reality. So was Elliot now. He wanted something to be in his grasp, something to hold onto, something to make him feel like he's getting through this for a reason. Not just fighting for his own survival because at this point he couldn't manage to give a single fuck about living just to have nothing. 

Elliot continued on. "IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU--" 

"THE WORLD WOULD'VE BEEN SAVED!? AND YOU WOULD'VE BEEN THE SAVIOR!? IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK!?" He felt numb and before he knew it Elliot was in his face. "IS THAT THE FANTASY I RUINED FOR YOU!?"

Elliot's eyes up close were cold, angry, and yet still somehow still resembled the ones he grew to love despite the ugly emotions clouding them.

"Stay here. DIE." A finger was jabbed against Tyrell's forehead. "I. DON'T. GIVE. A. FUCK. ABOUT YOU." Tyrell's body reacting on its own as he winces away. 

As the finger was removed Elliot leaned in and continued his verbal assault. "I'm done."

The quiet breeze filled the air as Elliot walked away from him and he felt angry. He was never good about containing that. Why start now?

"GOOD!" Elliot steps still rang out so he continued. "Look around you! All signs lead to the same hopeless destination!! And the sooner you realize that the better!" He took a moment to catch his breath, brows furrowed in frustration. "But you're so much in your own head that you can't see the truth! That it's over!"

For a moment he thinks he sees Elliot stop but he's so much in his own head that he doesn't notice and goes to sit back down. He doesn't know how or why but today he's going to meet his end and with everything he's ever loved ripped from his hands he can't say he minds very much this nightmare will end here with this man who apparently despises him. It's somehow fitting. 


End file.
